A.D.D...Curse Or Blessing?
Can I be honest? Thanks... You know those people that can work full time, homeschool their kids, clean the house, iron all the clothes, and make their own granola? I am not one of them... I look at that list more like a menu in a restaurant--I can't eat the whole menu any more than I can do all of those things on that list.
Some days are more difficult than others to feel productive… I am kind of in a funk this week. I feel like I have a very limited capacity at times. I also have A.D.D so even if I start to clean the house I end up trying to make granola. Anyway... I write 'to do' lists and they just send me in to panic at times because of how long it is. I am so glad 'to do' lists work for some people. That is so great. They don't always work for me—nothing makes me feel more like a failure on days that I only accomplished 3 out of the 20 things. And yesterday I added "shower" to my list just so I could mark one more thing off to feel productive.
I realized this AM I was doing some soul damage by comparing myself to all the 'productive' people in the world. We always tend to compare ourselves to people who are better than us in one area or another.
I have written about it before but I am on a mission to embrace all of me. Not just the parts of me I like, but even the places I wish I didn't have to contend with. The places that I try to 'pray away'. Like my A.D.D. Yesterday I talked with a friend and realized if I didn't have A.D.D., I probably wouldn't be as spontaneous. I am thankful for friends that don't critique me like I critique myself, and that can see the silver lining for me...
I am not sure when the self critiquing began but it needs to stop. I think self-evaluation out of love and care that encourages us in a kind way to make changes is helpful. But critiquing ourselves to death does so much damage to our souls. And I believe wholeheartedly God doesn't critique us. He lovingly leads us to a better place. I need to learn from His lead. We can be our own worst enemies at times.
1 Corinthians 16:14 says "Do everything in love.” even things with ourselves...
If I didn't spend as much energy critiquing myself maybe I would walk a little more free and I could actually get some more things done on my to do list! Today my goal is 4 things. I know, do I aim high or what? Baby steps. Progress not perfection.
So glad God loves us right where we are... now the goal is to love ourselves the same way!
Off to work on my 'to do' list! Writing a blog post and showering were actually on it today so I can mark off 2 things so far and it’s only 9am! Go me!
Daily Grace to you.
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