Walk Or Run? I am enough.
I went on a run this morning, and by “run” I mean—walk WAY MORE than run. I am not a runner. I want to be. I once (twice) signed up for a half-marathon. I bought the shoes, the ear buds and water bottle pack to wear around my waist for my LONG runs. The long runs never came. But that water bottle pack is very helpful for holding my keys, phone and $5 in case I get thirsty or hungry on my walks! So it wasn’t all for nothing. The first half marathon I signed up for was to raise money for digging wells in Africa for people who NEED fresh water. They even sent me orange shoelaces for my running shoes to inspire me. It did inspire me, but not to run. It inspired me to send them money for the wells. A friend told me “The only thing that inspires me to run is someone chasing me”. I have found I agree.
I want to run. I signed up to run. Still, I don’t run. And every time I go on my ‘runs’—I get a twinge of guilt that I am not actually running. And yes, I am really good at beating myself up for all of my failings and hangups. But that isn’t right nor productive. I am putting my expectations over reality. The reality is I expect myself to be a runner, but I am not a runner. I may be a runner someday, but not today. One thing I believe that needs to be said more in Christianity is “progress not perfection”. In the AA program one of their mantras is “progress not perfection”. Isn’t that just beautiful?
God accepts us right where we are. Every time. He NEVER says “get your act together, then come to me.” In fact quite the opposite, He says “come to me, and I will help you get your act together.”
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Oh to trust this verse in every area of my life, even the areas it seems there is no progressing. Some times progress moves so slow it seems to actually be moving backwards.
But that has to be ok. I am human, I get to fail. I get to be good at the things I am good at. And embrace the things I am not. I don’t have a right to beat myself up for the things I ‘can’t’ do. Or even ‘won’t’ do. One thing I am learning is that I have to give myself more grace. Be more loving and more compassionate with myself. I believe growing in Grace means, growing to accept myself right where I am. Grace is not about striving, it's about receiving.
So a few months ago someone wiser than me encouraged me to write “I am enough.” every day. Meaning, I AM LITERALLY ENOUGH. This process has slowly been changing my inner banter. It has been fascinating and amazing. I give myself permission to be right where I am and allow God to love me and He is teaching me every day to love and accept myself. What does it matter if others accept me if I don’t accept myself?
So I accept the fact that instead of building quad muscles I am just fending off cellulite (somewhat). And those orange shoelaces that used to remind me of an area of life that I ‘failed’ now remind me that I am enough, right where I am. I claim progress, not perfection. For I know the Perfect One, and Glory to God He knows, accepts and loves me.
Walk or run, I am enough. And so are you.
Daily Grace to you,
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